


The Bachelor Party

by Pennygirl612



Series: Marked Territory [1]
Category: White Collar
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Mild Sexual Content, Mild Smut, Sexual Humor, partial pre-series scene, probably non-canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-15 04:44:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18066800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pennygirl612/pseuds/Pennygirl612
Summary: Neal couldn’t believe how obstinate Peter was being. “Come on, Peter, whatever happened at your bachelor party was over a decade ago! Elizabeth couldn’t still be mad.  I’m sure she’s over it by now!”“Over it?!”  Peter exclaimed and then bitterly laughed. “Oh, my young, naïve friend, just wait until you’re married.  Then you, too, will learn a valuable life lesson about women.”  Peter paused to make sure his young ward was listening.  “A wife never, ever forgets. You only hope she forgives!”





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Emma Nash](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Emma+Nash).



> This story was written in response to the Team DeKay Real Men Wear Pink Campaign fundraiser. It was requested by Emma who wanted a story that "showcased a loving, humorous and sexy relationship between the characters." She also mentioned Chapter Two from my Marked Territory story which relates to the WC episode Veiled Threat. Specifically Emma wanted to know what happened at Peter's bachelor party. While you may find it interesting to read Chapter 2 from Marked Territory, it's not necessary before reading this one.

“Hell, no.”

“But it’s Blake’s bachelor party. You have to come!”

“Neal, drop it. I’m not going and that’s that.”

Neal couldn’t believe how obstinate Peter was being. “Come on, Peter, whatever happened at your bachelor party was over a decade ago! Elizabeth couldn’t still be mad. I’m sure she’s over it by now!”

“Over it?!” Peter exclaimed and then bitterly laughed. “Oh, my young, naïve friend, just wait until you’re married. Then you, too, will learn a valuable life lesson about women.” Peter paused to make sure his young ward was listening. “A wife never, ever forgets. You only hope she forgives!”

Neal rolled his eyes. From his own observations, Peter and El were the perfect couple with the perfect marriage. Not once had he seen them argue or fight so he was having a hard time believing that Peter could do anything that would have Elizabeth holding a grudge against her loving, doting husband.

“What could you have possibly done that was so bad she’s still holding it against you?” Neal asked giving voice to his growing skepticism. When Peter remained stubbornly silent, Neal changed tactics and went on the offensive. “If you don’t tell me, I’ll just ask Elizabeth.” 

A look of dread appeared immediately on Peter’s face. The last thing he needed was Neal reminding Elizabeth of his past transgression so it was with reluctance that he finally confessed. “I got a tattoo, okay?!”

“A tattoo,” Neal said slowly attempting to process the new information as well as the fact that Peter’s face all of a sudden was shading a pink color Neal had never seen on him before. 

“Yes, a tattoo. Are you happy now?” Peter said hoping that would be the end of it. 

Neal shook his head and looked thoughtful. “I would have noticed a tattoo unless it’s…Peter, tell me it’s not on your ass!” Peter’s face flamed a deeper red color and it was all the confirmation Neal needed. “It is! You have a tattoo on your ass!” Neal started laughing. “I never would have pegged Special Agent Peter Burke for a tattoo on the ass kind of guy!” 

Rubbing a hand over his face, Peter’s embarrassment was causing him to break out into a sweat and avoid eye contact. “Neal, please stop saying the word ass!” Peter exclaimed really wishing Neal would drop the entire subject.

Of course Neal being Neal wasn’t about to let it go. In fact, he was relishing in the agent’s increased level of discomfort. “Oh, I have to see it. Peter, you have to show me,” Neal insisted.

Peter shook his head and stated firmly, “I’m not dropping trouser and showing you my—my--rear!”

Without a word, Neal reached for his phone and scrolled through his contacts. With a look indicating he meant business, Neal showed Peter the display. Peter paled when he read Elizabeth’s name and number. 

“Neal, you wouldn’t!” 

Neal responded with a mischievous grin that left Peter certain he wasn’t bluffing. Peter hung his head and closed his eyes. He was so screwed.

“So what’s it going to be, Peter?”

Pinching his nose, Peter knew he really didn’t have much choice in the matter. With a sigh, he gave in. “Fine, I’ll come to your loft tonight.”

That evening at Neal’s loft…

Neal had just settled down at the kitchen table with a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon when there was a soft knock at his door. Before Neal could even move, Peter entered the apartment with a grim but determined expression on his face. Enjoying the fact that Peter felt so ill at ease, Neal sipped on his wine and patiently waited for Peter to make the first move. Spying Neal, Peter just shook his head like he still couldn’t believe he was actually doing this and walked into the kitchen area muttering to himself.

Placing a small black case down on the table, Peter grabbed a beer from Neal’s fridge. Taking a long, fortifying pull from the bottle, Peter felt his nerves settle slightly. Truth be told, it would take something a lot stronger than beer to make him even remotely comfortable with this situation but knowing that stalling was only going to make it worse, Peter decided to just cowboy up and get it over with. 

Opening the case, he handed Neal a UV light wand and took another sip of liquid courage before turning off the lights. Without further delay, he turned his back to Neal, unbuttoned his khaki pants and shoved both his pants and boxers down just far enough to display his left ass check. 

Neal hesitated, left momentarily stunned by Peter’s unexpected brazen move. He had been anticipating another argument from Peter in an attempt to get out of showing Neal the tattoo. At the very least, he had thought more coaxing would be involved but he should have known that Peter would skip out on the foreplay and not allow Neal any more fun at his expense then was necessary. Turning on the wand and waving it over the exposed skin, Neal’s eyes widened at the image and he tried hard to hold it in. He really did, but he simply couldn’t keep himself from bursting out laughing.

“Elizabeth must have been pissed!” Neal exclaimed when he was finally able to catch his breath.

Quickly pulling his pants back up, Peter absently picked up his beer and finished it before answering. “That would be an understatement.”

Still laughing, Neal asked, “Peter, how the hell did that happen?”

Hanging his head, Peter looked as sheepish as Neal had ever seen him. “Jose Cuervo was not a friend of mine and neither was Ruiz.”


	2. Chapter Two

A Decade earlier…

“Peter, you have to go,” Elizabeth told him with a giggle as she pulled back from his kiss and tried again to get him moving towards the door. 

She had been ‘trying’ for the past fifteen minutes and Peter was getting more and more handsy with her, a clear sign she needed to put a stop to things now. At their current rate, neither would be making it out of her apartment and instead would be going for round two back in the bedroom. Normally, she wouldn’t have objected but this night was different. On this night, they both had places to be and people waiting for them. 

For her part, Elizabeth had a bachelorette party to go to and her girlfriends had spent too much time and effort planning their outing for her to bail on them. Peter had his own bachelor party to attend though she suspected his friends had made no real effort in planning anything specific. His party likely involved little more than a whole lot of alcohol and a place with scantily clad women.

As a rule the thought of her man going to strip club would have bothered her, but this wasn’t any ordinary man. This was Peter and he was unlike any guy she had ever known. While confident and self-assured at work, Peter was shy and slightly socially inept when it came to talking with women. If she hadn’t made the first move with the ‘I love Italian’ sign who knows where they would be; certainly not a week away from getting married! No, she couldn’t see Peter getting into too much trouble while out with his boys. Besides, she trusted him. 

Resisting attempts to get him to leave, Peter had returned to kissing her. She knew he didn’t want to go. Clearly he wanted nothing more than to stay at her apartment and persuade her that other activities would be more fun than going out with their friends. And while what he was doing was feeling oh so nice, she knew she had to be the voice of reason for them both. Not so gently, she placed her hand on his chest and effectively created some necessary space between them. 

With a pout on his face, Peter whined, “I don’t want to go. Elizabeth, there are things I would much rather do here.”

An appreciative sparkle in her eye, Elizabeth grinned and reminded him of the importance of the events. “Peter, it’s not about you or me! It’s about our friends letting loose and having a good time. Your boys have one last night to spend with you and my girls have one last night to spend with me before the dynamic completely changes and ‘you and I’ become ‘us’. You can’t deprive them of this one last night!”

“But look at what they are depriving me of?” He said as he moved back in feasting on Elizabeth’s neck before moving lower to follow the V-neck line of her shirt.

Laughing, Elizabeth walked him backwards closer to the door. “And I’m sure they appreciate your sacrifice!”

With the door handle now pressing into his back, Peter finally pulled away from kissing her and stared her right in the eye. “I seriously doubt it. You know they wouldn’t tell me what they have planned.” With a grimace, Peter continued, “Knowing Ruiz it certainly involves getting me hammered and probably strippers.”

Elizabeth nodded, “I’m sure it does.”

Pursing his lips, Peter said, “And you’re really not bothered by that!”

Knowing Peter was gauging her reaction Elizabeth planted a shy smile on her face and moved in closer. She slid a hand seductively down his chest causing Peter to close his eyes and lean further into her. She allowed him that one minute of pleasure. Then without warning, she somewhat aggressively took both his balls in hand and waited for his eyes to snap back open. “Peter Burke, should I be bothered, worried, or concerned?!” 

“N-no,“ Peter said gritting through his teeth. Releasing her painful grip, Peter sagged in relief against the door. He tried to speak. He tried to say her name but all he could manage was the first part. “El—“

Elizabeth paused and looked thoughtful. “El? I think I like that.” Then she rose up on her tiptoes to place a quick, chaste kiss on his lips noticing how Peter placed his hands protectively over his manhood when she moved back into his space. It pleased her greatly to know she had effectively gotten her point across to him.

“El,” Peter tried it out and decided the shortened name felt right coming off his tongue. He intertwined his fingers with hers both to show his love as well as to ensure she couldn’t inflict anymore harm to his goods. He almost snorted seeing the deceptively innocent face staring back at him but instead he smiled and said, “El, I love you.”

Elizabeth opened the door and shoved him out into the hallway. “I love you, too, honey. Now go have fun with the boys.”

Peter maintained a smile on his face all the way until he was in the elevator and its door closed safely behind him. Grateful to find it empty, he allowed a groan to escape his lips as he leaned against the back wall. Closing his eyes, he took a moment to re-adjust himself. The physical sting was no longer present, but the psychological damage would be long lasting just as his pretty little fiancé had intended. Elizabeth was smart, sweet, and funny. She also had a volatile side that appeared when the right buttons were pushed and that was something to be feared even if it also turned him on. 

Reaching the ground floor, Peter found Ruiz and Donovan waiting for him. With barely contained energy, Peter recognized the devilish looks in the agents’ eyes. Obviously, they had something in store for him that would lead to trouble if Peter wasn’t careful. But Elizabeth’s message had been received loud and clear. He would man up and enjoy the time with his friends but no way in hell was Peter going to get in trouble this night. He would do nothing that would bother, worry, or concern his fiancé. No, sir. Absolutely not.

As they hustled him into a waiting town car and started razzing him with stories of the old ball and chain, Peter started to relax. Elizabeth was right. This was just a night for his friends to blow off steam and Peter couldn’t deny them their night. Besides, he knew his own limitations and certainly wouldn’t let things escalate to a point of no return or so he told himself even as that first shot of tequila was handed to him. By the time, they had picked up the other two agents and made their way downtown, Peter was already singing the praises of his new found friend, the one and only, Jose Cuervo. 

A few hours later…

Ruiz was at wits end. He should have known that Burke would be this way. The man was just too squeaky clean, too much of a goody two shoes for his liking. White Collar was a perfect fit for him. Peter wouldn’t make it in the dark, gritty world of Organized Crime. Still Ruiz had hoped with enough alcohol and the surrounding temptation of beautiful women, Burke would succumb and actually cut loose and take a walk on the wild side. 

The first stop had been a dance club. To the agents’ surprise, Peter had hit the floor running; bopping and weaving with the younger crowd to the likes of the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC. Ruiz had initially thought Burke would get with the program and take advantage of the opportunities being presented to him. Instead, Peter kept a reasonable space between him and his dance partners not allowing any grinding or inappropriate contact whatsoever. 

When it became known Peter was getting married (and the poor sap couldn’t go five minutes without displaying a picture of his fiancé or talking about the wonderful Elizabeth), an entire entourage of young ladies had surrounded him including the ones who had been dancing with Ruiz and the other agents. Stepping off the dance floor, they stared in disbelief while Peter was taught the latest dance moves. First it was the ‘Tootsee Roll’ and then in something that couldn’t possibly be unseen, his friends watched Peter ‘Getting Jiggy with It’.

Tormented and traumatized by Peter’s dance moves and his obnoxiously good behavior, Ruiz had put in a request with the DJ for some slow songs to see what kind of effect that would have on Burke. And when Aerosmith’s ‘I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing’ came on followed by Savage Garden’s ‘Truly, Madly, Deeply’, Peter didn’t miss a beat and remained unfazed as he simply continued dancing with whichever woman was closest to him at the time. 

To Ruiz’ disappointment, Peter put an immediate stop to any woman who snuggled in a little too close or got too touchy feely with him. And to Ruiz’ annoyance, there was no shortage of women awaiting a turn to dance with the bachelor. During the course of one song, he watched three different ladies cut in to get their dance time. And Ruiz was close enough to hear Burke talking to them as they danced. It seemed the more he talked about his fiancé, the more irresistible the ladies found him to the point that they were all but ignoring the other agents.

Having deemed the dance club a dismal failure, Ruiz gathered the guys up and ushered them downstairs which conveniently housed a strip club. When Peter hesitated outside the club door, Ruiz raised an eyebrow at him. With a dismissive shrug, Peter accepted the challenge being thrown down at him and good naturedly entered the room. Stepping inside the club, Ruiz felt confident he would be able to corrupt Burke in a place like this. It practically oozed of sex, booze, and women. 

Taking seats directly in front of the stage, Ruiz handed out thick envelopes to all four men. While more tequila shots were being poured, Peter opened up his envelope and rolled his eyes. The cash in various size bills he had expected it was the other item that was a bit over the top.

“Really?” Peter snarked holding up the six count chain of condoms. 

Ruiz could only grin. “Just looking out for you, bro. In today’s world you have to keep it safe, my friend!” Holding up his shot glass, Ruiz said, “Now drink up boys and start passing out that money!” 

“Cheers,” they all said clinking the shot glasses together. Peter downed the drink and decided he might as well try to enjoy himself. Relieved earlier of his phone and watch, he had no idea what time it was but knew the night would come to an end eventually. He just had to survive a few more hours at most. 

Looking up on the stage, Peter saw one of the dancers approaching his group. The woman wore nothing more than a pale blue G-string and yellow star pasties on her chest and Peter couldn’t help but compare her to Elizabeth. This woman was pretty enough but blondes had never been his thing. And he preferred a woman with a little more meat on her body who didn’t look like she would blow over if a stiff wind kicked up. He favored curves and Elizabeth was rounded in all the right places. As his guys whooped and hollered and clapped him on the back encouraging him, Peter dismissed all thoughts of his fiancé as he took out some cash to give to the dancer. The sooner he got started, the sooner it would be over.

An hour later, the envelopes for all the men were running low and Peter happily thought the night was drawing to a close. He was looking forward to sneaking back to Elizabeth’s apartment and surprising her. But as a tall, leggy woman approached from off stage, all eyes fell on Peter as it turned out Ruiz had arranged for the bachelor to have a private lap dance. 

Although he wasn’t interested, Peter knew better than to fight it. Taking one last tequila shot, Peter found he was officially feeling no pain. He allowed himself to be dragged off the stool and into a back room with the dark haired beauty that Peter had to admit was much more to his liking than the blonde had been.

Ruiz waited a few minutes before sneaking back to see how the dance was going. Chuckling to himself, Ruiz watched in satisfaction as the woman grinded up on Burke’s lap to Usher’s ‘Nice and Slow’ while simultaneously running her hands through Peter’s short, brown hair. But even drunk as a skunk, Burke proved to be a disappointment. Over the sound of the music, he could just hear Burke talking to the woman. Getting closer but still hidden from their view, Ruiz could now make out what Peter was saying and he had to shake his head in disgust. With a beautiful woman practically molesting him, Peter was sitting on his hands and telling her all about the woman who had agreed to marry him.

At the end of the song, Ruiz watched as Peter handed over the envelope of money and politely thanked her for the dance. Ruiz discreetly returned to the stage area before Peter could see him. When Peter finally came out, Ruiz noticed how Peter was swaying on his feet, the tequila finally getting the best of him. Looking at the other guys, Ruiz knew they were also drunked up and out of money. As it was nearing closing time anyway, they decided to call it a night. 

But Ruiz wasn’t quite finished with Burke yet. He had a feeling the night would be disappointing so he had formulated a contingency plan. He had the driver drop off the others so that he was left alone with Peter in the car. Then as if the thought had just occurred to him, Ruiz told Burke they had one more stop to make. Peter feeling wasted and tired, protested but was in no real shape to argue as Ruiz drug him out of the car and into a tattoo parlor. 

“Oh, no,” Peter slurred seeing what Ruiz had in mind. 

“Trust me, Burke,” Ruiz said easily propelling the man forward. “I’ve listened to you talk all night about that incredible fiancé of yours. It got me thinking about a gift for her. Just a little something.”

“A little something permanent,” Peter argued as he leaned against one of the chairs feeling very unsteady on his feet. 

“Just like your marriage,” Ruiz countered easily. And that comment produced a sappy looking grin on Peter’s face. It was almost enough to make Ruiz throw up. “Come on, Burke, let’s see if we can find something perfect to surprise your little woman with.”

After a few minutes of looking through a book, Peter selected something he knew Elizabeth would appreciate. In fact, he felt certain it would score him major points with her. Proudly, he showed it to Ruiz and the tattoo artist.

Ruiz nodded with fake enthusiasm upon seeing Peter’s pathetic selection. While the assistant prepared Peter, Ruiz pulled the tattoo artist to the side and pointed out a much different tattoo. 

“Are you sure about this?” The artist asked raising an eyebrow. 

With a smirk, Ruiz nodded and handed over two hundred dollar bills.


	3. Chapter 3

Mid-afternoon the following day…

Peter woke up to a hard smack to the back of his pounding head. He found himself face down and naked in his bed. Peter squinted; his achy, itchy eyes were trying to adjust to a room full of blinding light. Once he was able to focus, he found Elizabeth glaring down at him; her beautiful face red with fury. She was so mad that she was actually shaking. 

Shit. Shit! Peter thought as he struggled to get his sluggish body to move. Why tequila? he chastised himself. He knew it fucked him up every time! And his body was displaying all the reasons why he had sworn off that particular beverage: pounding headache, irritated and raw feeling eyes, and his personal favorite—nausea. Feeling the churning, Peter leaned over the side of the bed and grasped the trash can just in time to unload.

The sudden, twisting motions brought to light another issue. His entire body felt tender and sore; particularly his left ass cheek. Oh yeah, it was fuzzy but he might just remember Ruiz dragging him into a tattoo parlor and getting a tattoo. A tattoo! Never in a million years did he think he would ever get a permanent marker on his body. This he blamed only partially on the liquor deciding being a crazy fool in love was the more likely cause.

And with his thoughts turning to his lovely fiancé a goofy grin settled on his face. He was madly in love with this woman; this woman who had proven to be super smart, witty, and sexy and who would be his wife in less than a week. This same woman who Peter now noticed was staring at him with rage filled blue eyes and what could only be described as a homicidal look. On the one hand, he was half fearful for his life and wasn’t sure that his self-defense training at Quantico was going to prove adequate for this situation. On the other hand, he was getting more than a little turned on by the heat that was radiating off her. 

Elizabeth appeared to be waiting for him to speak. The only problem was Peter wasn’t sure what to say. Clearly she was upset about something but he didn’t have the slightest clue what he had done to set her off and trying to think back over the events of the previous night only worsened his headache. Peter debated about the safest course of action given Elizabeth’s current volatility. In the end, he invoked his right to remain silent so nothing could be used against him.

“What the fuck, Peter?!” Elizabeth yelled finally unleashing her fury. “If that’s how you view our relationship, you can just go and fuck yourself!” 

The hangover made Peter slow on the uptick and created a good five second delay in hearing what she said and comprehending the words. Did she just tell him to go fuck himself? She had never used such language with him. Now he was definitely feeling a little turned on. 

That all changed when he forced his irritated eyes to focus and his sluggish mind registered what she was now doing with her hands. In near panic, Peter flipped over to face her wincing at the pain flaring up from his ass. With his stomach threatening to unload again, he could only watch in stunned silence as Elizabeth ripped off her engagement ring and threw it at him. Swallowing back the latest upheaval, Peter scrambled off the bed and barely made it to the door in time to prevent her from leaving. 

“Whoa, just hold on a minute, El!” Peter said fighting back another wave of nausea but this time brought on more by the threat of her leaving than the sudden movement. 

Again able to swallowing back the harsh acid, Peter took in a deep breath. In an attempt to calm her down, Peter took her hand into his. He could see tears rimming on eyes, threatening to fall. Damn. He could handle her pissed off but he had no defense against her crying! 

“Okay maybe I should have talked to you first,” he admitted, “but I did it for you.” 

Seeing her eyes blaze again in anger, Peter felt even more confused and was starting to get a little annoyed by what he felt was overreacting on her part. “I thought you’d like it!” When she didn’t respond, he continued with his voice taking on a defensive edge. “I thought it was actually kind of romantic!” 

Elizabeth stared at him like he was insane. “You thought that was romantic?!” she said pointing at his ass. “Are you kidding me? I don’t even know what to say to that!”

Peter dropped her hand and took a step back. “What is your problem?” Peter asked, snapping back at her. “It’s just a damn tattoo!”

Pulsing with rage, Elizabeth snagged Peter’s arm and drug him to the bathroom pointing to the bathroom mirror. “That is not just a damn tattoo!”

Wide-eyed, Peter stared at the mirror in utter disbelief at what he was seeing. He had expected to see a black inked, heart shaped love tattoo with “always” spelled out at the top of the heart and “Elizabeth” at the bottom along with their wedding date. Instead staring back at him was a black outlined ball and chain containing Elizabeth’s name in the ball part and the date of the wedding etched out as part of the chain.

“Oh, fuck,” Peter whispered, hanging his head.


	4. Epilogue

Epilogue

Back in Neal’s loft….

Neal passed another beer to Peter. “Obviously Elizabeth forgave you.”

Peter nodded reminded of just how grateful he was that she had done so. “Believe me it took a lot of begging and pleading and then more begging and pleading followed up with some serious groveling. Yeah, by the end of the week, she forgave me.”

“But she hasn’t forgotten,” Neal said now understanding Peter’s plight with Blake’s bachelor party.

Shaking his head, Peter sighed, “No, she hasn’t.”

“Kind of hard to do when the evidence is still on your ass,” Neal pointed out in defense of Elizabeth.

“Yeah,” Peter agreed taking another swig of beer. “That it is.”

“Ruiz?” Neal asked and Peter only shrugged in response. It surprised Neal that Peter would let what Ruiz did go so easily. If it had been him, Neal was sure he would have sought revenge immediately.

Finishing the beer, Peter stood, picked up the case and headed for the door where he paused. Without turning around, Peter said, “It was a long time ago, Neal. Don’t do anything stupid on my account.”

“Of course not, Peter.” Neal answered quickly and honestly. He easily justified to himself that it wasn’t a lie since what he was planning wasn’t solely for Peter’s benefit.

Neal waited for Peter to leave before picking up his phone. “Moz,” he said when his friend answered. “I’m going to need a tattoo gun and some ink.”

That weekend…

Ruiz woke up with a pounding headache and a sore ass. Standing in front of a full length mirror, Ruiz feared the worst but instead smiled ruefully when he recognized the heart-shaped love tattoo on his rear. With a shrug, he went back to bed figuring they were even now. 

At home, Peter slept off his own hangover. Peeking under the sheets, Elizabeth looked at Neal’s handiwork. The cover up he had designed was simply breathtaking. He really was quite the talented artist, and if he hadn’t pointed it out to her, she never would have noticed the “NC” tucked discreetly in the corner.


End file.
